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We Drove A Citroën C6 And It Was Better Than Our Wildest American Dreams

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'Except for the fine engineers at Citroën. And even then, for only seven years, from 2005 to 2012. Because no one bought one. Over those seven years, Citroën couldn’t manage to shift even 25,000 units in all of their markets.

The comfort purist, then, is a dying breed.'

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Meine Lieblingstextstellen sind:

But then you see it’s got an oddly long hood, and an oddly short trunk, and it’s got arrows on its face and a rear window that curves inwards upon itself, and it’s nothing like anything else in the world.

It’s when you step inside, however, that things get super weird. Because something is going on here, something that breaks the laws of physics. It is so monumentally vast inside that there is parking for another C6 in the back seats alone. And each seat, in its own right, is the size of a massive captain’s chair. You don’t sit in the seat, so much as you’re swallowed by it.

You’re left startled and confused, like someone is casually hiding a doorway to another dimension inside a family grocery-getter. “Oh, this? It’s just the portal to the multiverse,†you say, as you peer into the depths of endless possibilities.

Then you turn the key, and start it up, and the real absurdity begins. With a 2.7-liter diesel V6, it’s not winning any races, but you don’t want to win any races in it. Too many cars constantly feel like they’re pushing you on, like they only want more, like they’re only truly happy when screaming at 190 miles per hour.

The Citroën, on the other hand, does the opposite. You’ll be driving along at 45 MPH, and then you’ll look around, and it’s almost as if it’s saying to you “why not try 40? You’re in no hurry. There’s no rush. Sit back and enjoy life.â€

It’s little, practical details, like the little storage cupboards in the doors. Instead of popping out at you, it slides downwards automatically with a gentle push. Not even a Bentley has that.

The fat, pillowy steering wheel is feather light, and you feel nothing from the road. Zero. Zilch. It’s almost as if it’s detached completely from the surface, because becoming too connected to the street below would be a bother. “I’d like to turn left,†you think, as you dreamily feel your hands turning, and then it’s as if a thousand servants start the process for you, because why would you want to think about such trivialities?

But it wasn’t until he showed off the real capabilities of the suspension did I truly know what we were dealing with. We had driven a few miles already, bathing in the gentle glow of the famous Citroën Hydractive suspension, before the car was actually put into comfort mode.

We had already been gliding along like an ice skater, and I had thought I’d experienced what it means to let everything melt away. I had heard all the terrible repetition about how “oh, you need to experience this, it’s totally different,†and already, in normal mode, it was different, to the point of satisfaction. It was comfortable, it was fine, it was grand.

Once the button was pushed, everything did seem to just, well, actually melt. The road beneath us almost felt liquid, as our seats wallowed around. If we hit a big enough pothole, we might, maybe, just possibly feel a slight shonk, but otherwise it was almost as if the car itself wasn’t attached to the Earth below us anymore.

Which is the joy of a big Citroën. You don’t worry about anything, once you’re inside. It’s not a car for Russian billionaires in their Mercedes S-classes, who even in their own supreme isolation worry about the price of natural gas.

It’s great, it’s French, and it’s a unicorn. And that’s not just because they didn’t make very many.

Kein deutscher Autor würde es je wagen so über den C6 zu schreiben.

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Ich schon.

Meine Lieblingsstelle ist: "It’s little, practical details, like the little storage cupboards in the doors. Instead of popping out at you, it slides downwards automatically with a gentle push. Not even a Bentley has that."

Ja, die schönen Türtüren. Das Hochgleiten der Teak-Holz-Abdeckung ist einfach pure Eleganz. Der Wagen sieht innen immer aufgeräumt wie frisch vom Fließband aus. Für Unordnungsgeister wie mich ist das eine Wohltat. Ich mag es nicht, wenn ich in AUDIS oder BENZEN als Beifahrer neben benutztem Toilettenpapier oder Akku-Rasierapparaten sitzen muss. Igitt.

Der C6 ist schon eine andere Liga. Und dass ein paar Amis das jetzt mal so richtig blumig darstellen, ist längst überfällig gewesen. Für AUDI Fahrer ist der C6 reinster, lackierter Schrott und … ja, eben keine Oberklasse. C6 ist Mittelklasse. Und dabei wird es bleiben, es sei denn, Citroen schiebt noch mal ein Modell nach - mit 570 PS.


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